"New Video Critique On Copywriting For 'Quit Smoking' Product..."

I began this copywriting critique a couple of times, yesterday.

Serious storms blew through, complete with hail, high winds, thunder and lightning. So I shut down.

I suppose it was two weeks ago, during a storm of similar intensity, I was under my toilet, tightening the nut on the fill valve I had just installed, when wham.

The bathroom lit up lightning blue and I heard what sounded like an explosion.

It was an explosion.

"OSAMA!" I thought.

But no. Lightning had struck a two-story tall tree that stood all the way across the little lake I live on. The lightning didn't split the tree, or knock it over.

It must've boiled the sap, because it blew up the tree until there were only spindles, splinters and duck soup left. Poor duck.

He won't be watching any more vids, but you can...

Please Click Here To View The Video.

Speak your mind or submit your URL for a review at, peterstonecopy at gmail .com. Please write "Video Critique" in the subject line.

--Peter

Comments

[Kyle Tully]

Hi Peter

I think the lightning got your mic... I'm not getting any audio on this one.

Cheers
Kyle

[Copywriter, Peter Stone]

Kyle,

Thanks for that. I'll shoot it over, today.

--Peter

[Elizabeth Purvis]

// "OSAMA!" I thought. //

Okay, that totally made me laugh!

Wanted to swing by and say hello, as I haven't been around much. Had my head down working on this:

http://www.bottomlinecopy.com/

I am NOT offering it up for a critique! My ego is still bruised from writing the dang thing; now it's time to let her rest and recover a while. :) But I did want to show it off, as it feels like a milestone. Hope that's okay.

And with that, it's off to watch the next video!

my best,
Elizabeth

[Copywriter, Peter Stone]

Elizabeth,

I love your site!

Congratulations, for indeed, this is a milestone.

Nice to hear from you.

--Peter

[Sean]

Hi Pete,

I respect your conviction, great pitch. However,I must inform you that I know what you all have not yet foreseen and you may wish to keep this between us for the moment.
I have the answer to all your trying to accomplish and it Doesn't Consist of GOALS. So forget the word GOAL. The word goal doesn't pertain to anything other than a minimal SCORE. Just ask yourself, Why did you get into this movement? I will ask you do you truly know what is going on?
I have the answers to the questions above.

thanx
Sean.

PS.
Simply imagine what does not yet exist (but might be as visioning provides a glimpse of the future).