Timothy Warnock
Copywriter: "... My secret weapon is often a final critique by Peter Stone.
No matter how good my copy is, Peter has the very impressive gift of finding, then squeezing out every last bit of potential."
--Timothy Warnock
Copywriter
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Chris Donnell
Forex (Foreign Exchange Trading):
Hi Peter,
Your headline copy was brilliant!
After making just some of the overall changes you suggested, our lead generation rate went up 147% and our cost per lead dropped from $16.53 down to around $6.50.
Our google ads are now really paying for themselves as sales have increased.
Our 2-hour consulting, already, in the first week, has over a 300% return on investment.
We'll DEFINITELY be using your services again. I can't wait to implement all the rest of your suggestions.
You're the best!
--Chris Donnell
CEO
LeverageFX.com
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GE
Marketing Manager:
"I'm the Marketing Manager for GE's Healthcare division. I searched for someone capable of driving the messaging for our division's direct response advertising campaign for 37 days to no satisfaction.
Then, after filling out the form on his website, I had the pleasure of speaking with Peter Stone. Within just a couple of minutes into our conversation, I could tell by Mr. Stone's insightful comments, proven outcomes and aggressive strategies, we could trust him with our marketing challenges, completely.
Following my due diligence process, I was so confident he was the right person for our division at GE, I jumped on the opportunity to engage his services.
We're very pleased with our decision to use his firm. He is honest, very approachable, prompt, responsive to our needs and exercises sound judgment while taking action according to our requirements.
I'm a convert!--No more fluffy marketing materials for me".
--Herly Karlen
GE Healthcare, Lunar, Americas Marketing Manager
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"Sales copy isn't easy to write, but Peter Stone knows his stuff."
--Chris Pirillo
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Famous Copywriter:
"I'm sorry ... but when I saw that headline you wrote, I had to steal it. I swiped it without your permission."
--Famous copywriter (Name withheld)
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Jesse Forest
Copywriter:
"He gets into the mind of your prospect and instantly
knowing their fears, wants and desires ... makes them buy!"
--Jesse Forrest
Copywriter
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"...Peter Stone did the actual blood-letting.
I implemented (...) his suggestions and went from a 1.8% conversion rate, to a 3.9% conversion rate!"
(More than doubled)
--Jay Jennings
Marketer
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"Who do they call?
... He's the guy that big-time Web businesses and well-known entrepreneurs sneak in the back door whenever they need to skyrocket their results!"
(From an ad for a webinar)
--Jason Potash
Marketer
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"...Talking with you was great! I probably learned more from you in that conversation of ours than from a lot of articles and books I've read."
--Casey Grayson
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Michel Fortin
Copywriter:
"If my life depended on the success of a sales letter and I couldn't write it, I would choose one copywriter above all others without hesitation.
That person is Peter Stone."
--Michel Fortin
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Clayton Makepeace
Highest paid copywriter in the world:
"Peter Stone busted down the door and slapped my face with a possibility so positively huge, it instantly changed my life's script for years to come."
--Clayton Makepeace
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Your rewrite is definitely better. Without getting technical it just feels better.
Posted by: Kyle Tully | November 02, 2007 at 03:24 AM
Kyle,
Thanks for saying so.
--Peter
Posted by: Copywriter :: Peter Stone | November 02, 2007 at 08:40 AM
Peter,
Really enjoyed this. The layout of setting out the different versions next to each other is most helpful.
Your "mini-narrative" mindmap has been "swiped" and now forms part of my "Copy Toolbox" (along with other Peter Stone classics such as "The Dark Alley").
Yes, much prefer your version of the "Civil War" letter. As you say, the simple addition of those structural elements makes it much more compelling.
Great stuff. You really should be charging for this!
Kevin Francis
Posted by: Kevin Francis | November 03, 2007 at 07:06 PM
Kevin,
Thank you so much, for your enthusiastic comments.
Please, don't hesitate to suggest a letter as the subject of a forensic exam.
Sending that letter to me might avoid the frustration of hearing, "I don't have it," but that's certainly not necessary.
Anyway, and as always, thank you.
--Peter
Posted by: Copywriter :: Peter Stone | November 03, 2007 at 09:38 PM
Peter,
Thanks for this Wall Street Series. Forensics are fun – as the CSI series has proven...and Quincy, M.E. (if anyone but me is old enough to remember). Perhaps "Stone, C.E." will be the next hit.
Having never had a creative writing class in my life, the narrative education was interesting.
Looking at this from a rhetorical angle, one line kept jumping out at me, "Dependent on Children".
If this letter was successful (though flawed), I'm willing to bet it was that line delivered to a pre social security generation that packed the wallop or worked as the hook to keep readership.
I'm thinking of my Grandfather or my dad. 1) not being a "burden" was and is a huge drive in their psyche. 2) Leaving something behind is a close second.
The second element that popped for me in the older letter was the use of truism, and self evident truth to set up the sales arguments he was about to make.
Anyway, thanks again for the great video's and I'm looking forward to the next showing of Stone, C.E.
Posted by: Robert | November 05, 2007 at 02:31 PM
Robert,
Quincy? (-:
Your sensitivity to what sells ... to the reader is always impressive.
--Peter
Posted by: Copywriter :: Peter Stone | November 05, 2007 at 10:06 PM